I am looking at the window pane,
colored glasses ornaments,
looking out to nothing.
I can’t see outside in fractured sunlight,
the beams bounced into triangles,
oh, the colors hurt my eyes.
But I need to be here,
in the house of the Lord,
kneeling, praying, crying, screaming.
I am absorbed by the congregation,
when they pray out loud,
when they sing a cappella.
I am tempering myself,
holding out, holding on,
my soul is sheltered, but exhausted.
If this is what it takes to save you,
if this is what it takes to bring you home,
if this is what it takes to make you see light.
I will pray twice as much,
I will preach twice as loud,
I will be twice the believer that I am.
I will temper myself,
I will repent on behalf of you,
I will endure your sins and misgivings.
I will do whatever it takes,
I will not complain over colored glasses,
I will not gripe over blurry window pane.
If only I could, I would make up for what’s lacking,
I would make up for you,
But I couldn’t, could I?
16 MAY 2016, 10:53 pm