I think, as we get older, we get more and more inclined to our true characters. We no longer feel the need to do the things we used to do to fit in a certain group. We are more grounded but we are also more honest about our own dreams and goals. Well, at least, that’s what happens in my case.
I went to a wedding of a good friend of mine, and I had to mix with my old pals. It took me a while to get used to them again (you know, introverts being introverts!), and I realized that I’ve lost the need to mimic them.
I needed some time to read them again, and while I was mapping their behavior, I was reminded of how much I needed to copy their lifestyles and behaviors in order to feel accepted. Surely, the young me felt the need to fit in because of reasons (well, sigh..). At that point of time, I was blinded by social pressure that I mimicked everything they did – both positive and negative acts (plus the consequences!)
To be fair, they were my everything when I was in college. They helped me went through a rough patch, and I am beyond thankful and blessed to have them in my life. It’s just that, we kind of have grown apart and I no longer felt the need to blend in so much.
Their slangs still rubbed off a wee bit (lel), but I realized that I was somehow more quiet and reserved. I didn’t share stories as freely as I used to. I only told them the headlines briefly when asked. Have I come way too far from my own old pals?
I still talked in their slangs, because of muscle memory. I still talked about the things we all know, because that’s what socially acceptable (haha). However, I was quite surprised that I was able to withdraw and be completely comfortable with myself. I even zoned out when they talked about things I didn’t find interesting, or too far for me to hear, or maybe I just leveled up in screening out people bickering with each other haha.
In essence, of course I made some efforts to present myself in an appropriate way (I just couldn’t let myself go weird all the way), but I did not feel the need to be as loud, and bold, and funny, and popular. I did not feel the need to prove myself as much as I did. I was significantly more chillax – and I am glad to find out so.
It is possible that I am just becoming socially lazier, but I think as people get older, we learn to be more easygoing with ourselves and our peers. We look into their lives, and we realize that they too have their own problems despite the successes they show on the outside. We don’t feel pressured to defeat them or to win against them.
We realize that everybody is walking a different path and when our paths do collide, we can’t always compare apple to apple. While it is good to look at our friends’ life and be motivated to be as good or well-off as them, it is also important to manage our jealousy to a healthy level.
It is a mature thing to do to just let go of the less nice things and just enjoy the moment we share together. Reminisce about our past sometimes, talk about our dreams a little, and when we part ways again, we take with us all the good vibes, and let the rest slides. And if we find that we are different yet comfortable, so be it.
Everyone was built to be different, so why be the same?
12 SEPTEMBER 2016, 02:57 PM