Curiosity

It’s not curiosity which kills the cat
but the jealousy of the pack

They call out in fear
not for safety but of losing

Startling the cat with rage
and shackles around the ankle

However,
there is more selfishness in jealousy
than the act of love

To save themselves from insecurity
in pretense of showing love

Because,
if you know her well,
isn’t a cat loyal to its home?

Your jealousy will only kill her soul,
the very soul you fell in love with

Therefore,
it is jealousy which kills the cat,
and everything else you once had

26 JANUARY 2017, 09:46 AM

Naungan Manja

Secangkir kopi hitam pekat
yang manis karena tutur kata

Ditemani nafas yang putih
dan tangan yang hangat

Selepas tawa yang aku dengar
Suaramu nikmat membuai telinga

Langit yang gemerlap tidak kulihat
Hanya dalamnya laut di matamu

Manja rasanya inderaku
digelung dalam kemesraan dunia

Namun apa yang belum aku dengar
Apa yang belum aku ceritakan

Seribu kata yang belum terucap
lambat laun akan datang seperti ombak

Bohong jika manusia tidak takut badai
dan beratnya langkah pada pasir basah

Tapi rumah yang dibangun di atas karang
tidak akan roboh dihempas

Dan apalah lagi yang aku cari
selain atap untuk bernaung?

09 DECEMBER 2016, 12:14 AM

Menggapai Esok

Dijamu dalam ketidaksempurnaan
Pahit yang manis
Yang tidak tergantikan

Gigi yang menguning
Tulang yang memutih
Dahaga yang mereguk doa semata

Senyum siapa dan tawa siapa
Hanya berusaha menggenggam
Apa yang dimiliki hari ini

Karena percaya adalah belajar
Dan bahagia adalah proses
Bahwa hari esok adalah titipan Tuhan

02 DECEMBER 2016, 05:45 PM

Burning

Here is the thing about anger;
ancient rage whose flame hasn’t quite died down.
Its flame still burning under piles of grey ashes,
tricking you into thinking that the ground was cool to touch.

And then you step on that hot ground;
its heat jolting and scarring you.
For a moment the fire flares up on the surface,
sapping you of your energy, leaving you frustrated and exhausted.

So you realize now that there is this pain,
eating you from the inside out.
Burned flesh, red and angry open wound,
and you have no idea how to put it out and spare yourself the pain.

You are angry,
but you are also tired and sick of being angry.
You can only take a deep breath and hope that someday,
God will show mercy on you and somehow you are no longer ill and angry.

But right now, you will have to make do.

24 AUGUST 2016, 06:40 PM

Sakit Lambung

Patah hati rasanya seperti sakit lambung
menusuk, memelintir, mengorek
semua isi ulu hati sampai habis
tak bersisa

Patah hati rasanya seperti sakit tulang
menusuk, mengiris, mematahkan
semua sendi yang ngilu dan keropos
tua dalam semalam

Aku berteriak minta tolong
bersujud minta ampun
apa dosaku yang belum kubayar

Aku berdoa tanpa kata
menangis tanpa suara
apa pintaku yang belum kutarik

Ruang kosong di punggungku
ditembusi angin
berlubang dan kopong

Ruang kosong di perutku
dipenuhi asam lambung
dan ludah yang getir

menyesakkan napas
melumpuhkan pikiran
memberangus akal

Sungguh, manusia mana yang tahan
dengan sakit yang tidak juga sembuh
dengan hidup yang tidak juga mati

08 AUGUST 2016, 07:48 am

Imaginary People

I was born in the realm of imaginary friends,
and they have become the best of my people.

I am never lonely even when I am alone,
because I can always talk to them in silence.

My insanity are their favorite pasttimes,
and their thoughts my inspirations.

You may tell me that they are not real,
but to me they are the breath of my soul;

the source of my being;
the life and death of my existence.

Whether or not you realize,
that you too are one of them.

03 AUGUST 2016, 08:20 am

Graveyard

It was not sorrow that brought me here
nor sadness beguiling me to Hades
but it was a graveyard all the same
a graveyard full of dandelions

The strands flew as I breathed
like hope on my fingertips
yet they sprung back to life
as I mourned the death of my soul

Like ashes piling up on ashtrays
it was the urn of my feelings
and I would pave my way back to you
starting from this very graveyard

I knew waiting was not my forte
and never could I walk away
so I would do my best holding on
as one more day was already a blessing

I could make this place our sanctuary
with dandelions blooming on the first day of spring
if only you would overlook the darkness
and believe in my dreams for once

31 JULY 2016, 11:40 pm

Wrong Shade of Blue

Her eyes were the wrong shade of blue.

No, not wrong, just different.
Not the kind of blue that made you lose yourself in its depth,
but the kind of blue that made you linger
and wonder.

The longer you looked into her eyes,
you’d realize that the inner rims were speckled with golden bits,
or yellow – you were not quite sure,
and such, you wondered
if she was a whole ‘nother world altogether.

Sometimes you looked into her half-opened eyes in the morning,
and somehow,
under the early morning sunlight,
her eyes were almost the color of warm honey.

Warm like her relaxed smile.
Warm like her body lying next to you.
Warm like home.

But then she woke up and all those honey went blue.
Sickeningly sweet blue honey,
if it was at all possible.
The twists in your gut sensed sorrow and pain,
yet she kissed your eyes and nose,
and lulled you back to oblivion
with her hellos and good-mornings.

So you taught yourself to close your eyes
and just be with her.
You let her have both of her colors.
She could be as blue and as warm,
because you knew deep down
that you didn’t care;

That when she looked you back in the eyes,
her golden shade of blue
made you fall in love then,
now,
and probably forever.

27 JULY 2016, 05:43 pm

Locked Bravery

I know a little girl,
who falls in love with you.
She is braver than I am,
but I have to keep her locked inside.

Sometimes she pounds on the door,
asking me to let her go.
Sometimes she escapes through the window,
when the maid carelessly left it open.

Every time she gets out,
I will have to look for her.
It is not really that hard,
because I know she would always look for you.

I am only half surprised to find her in a crowd,
with her eyes wandering around.
She is not lost at all;
Her eyes just never stop searching for you.

She would then lock her eyes,
and beam when she finds you,
as if knowing instinctively that you’d be there,
when she looks to the right.

But before she gets to you and hurts herself,
I would take her hands and drag her home.
She would keep looking back,
struggling to break away.

At some point she would stop fighting me,
and cry softly when I deny her of your existence.
I know she longs for your warm embrace;
I know how awful it is to keep it to herself.

Still, I would take her to her room,
lock the door despite her glassy eyes.
I keep telling myself,
that this is for her own good.

Yes, there is this little girl that I know,
whose heart I admire the most.
She makes me feel ashamed of myself,
because I could never love someone so bravely.

And I would mourn for her loss,
as if you were my own dead muse.

03 JULY 2016, 05:36 pm

Rumah Tenung

Rumahku adalah patah hatiku yang terdalam;

Di mana air mata panas seperti bara api,
dan teriak marah ditelan seperti ludah.

Rumahku adalah sakit hatiku yang terdalam;

Di mana rasa kecewa jadi biasa,
dan rasa pahit sudah jadi tawar.

Rumahku adalah istana para pendosa;

Yang karmanya dibalaskan pada anak,
dan rasa lega dianggap pengampunan dosa.

Rumahku adalah lubang kuburanku;

Yang tanahnya segar oleh darahku,
dan rasa lelah hanya bisa dibayar mati.

04 JULY 2016, 07:31 am